Concrete Angel
by xfool
Summary: Harm and Mac's final fallout...redone for less confusion
1. Fall Out

**Concrete Angel**

Sarah MacKenzie's Apartment, 10 PM

Slowly, Mac placed the phone back into its charger.  She was angry but she didn't know who she was angrier at.  She has been taking care of herself all her life, why should now be any different?  _How could I actually think that he would care?  I guess that Joe MacKenzie was right for once in his life.  Well damn him.  I will prove that I am worthy of someone's love…even if it's the last thing I do on this earth._  

**She walks to school with the lunch she packed  
Nobody knows what she's holding back  
Wearing the same dress she wore yesterday  
She hides the bruises with linen and lace**

He called to tell her it was over…that he was accepting the transfer to Pax River and he was shipping out tomorrow.  He said it was all a bad life choice.  She hated him for that.  _Harm is just bad at goodbyes.  "No," she said aloud to no one in particular.  "If he still loved me he would have said so.  No one ships out and tells the woman who loved – loves – him that he doesn't want to talk to her."_

JAG Headquarters, 9AM next day

Mac calmly strode into her office, thankful that no one approached her about Harm.  But no one knew about his decision besides the admiral.  Her act always worked on an audience, especially her coworkers.  She locked her door and ignored all her calls.  

**The teacher wonders but she doesn't ask  
It's hard to see the pain behind the mask  
Bearing the burden of a secret storm  
Sometimes she wishes she was never born**

Facing the window that overlooks the courtyard, Mac let the tears fall freely.  _How could he do this?  I thought that everything was perfect.  We finally worked everything out…_  
  
**Through the wind and the rain  
She stands hard as a stone  
In a world that she can't rise above  
But her dreams give her wings  
And she flies to a place where she's loved  
Concrete angel**

Mac's Apartment, 6 PM

After getting nothing done at work, she headed home.  The light was blinking on her answering machine.  She walked over to it and pressed the play button.

"Hi Sarah dear it's Trish.  Frank and I can't wait to see you and Harm next week.  Call me later with your travel plans.  Bye for now."

Mac pressed delete.  She would call Trish tomorrow.  Grabbing a frozen dinner she preheated the oven and went to her bedroom in search of her favorite sweats.  In her daze last night she never noticed that Harm had cleaned out all his things.  She was able to find the one shirt she hid from him.  Quickly, she slipped out of her uniform and into the oversized US NAVY tee shirt.  She forced herself to eat the dinner and the deposited her dishes into the sink.  Her couch was calling to her and she sought its comfort.    
  
**Somebody cries in the middle of the night  
The neighbors hear, but they turn out the lights  
A fragile soul caught in the hands of fate  
When morning comes it'll be too late**

Her sleepless night caught up with her and she soon fell into a restless slumber, completely unaware that she left her door unlocked.  And she never heard the masked man walk in…  
  


**Through the wind and the rain  
She stands hard as a stone  
In a world that she can't rise above  
But her dreams give her wings  
And she flies to a place where she's loved  
Concrete angel**

LocalCemetery, 1 PM

The last of the mourners slowly depart, leaving only Harm and the admiral next to her body.

"Are you alright Harm?"

"Yes, sir.  I'll be fine.  Thank you for coming."

The admiral placed his gloved hand on Harm's shoulder, as if to tell him that it will all be alright.  If only he knew.  Harm waited until the admiral left before he finally spoke.

"God Sarah I am so sorry.  If I hadn't made that call to you… if I hadn't taken the transfer… if I hadn't said what I did… there are too many what ifs running through my mind right now.  I wish I could have been there to protect you and not have shown up ten minutes too late.  I want you to know that I will prosecute the bastard that took you away from me.  They found him, you know.  He was a Marine Gunny you forced to leave the service that beat you…  My life is better for having known you and you being in it.  You may be gone but you live on through all of us."  He leaned down; the folded triangle of the American Flag that covered her casket tucked securely under his right arm, his gold wings shinning in the sun, and placed one last kiss on the casket.  "Goodbye Sarah… I love you."

    _   
_**A statue stands in a shaded place  
An angel girl with an upturned face  
A name is written on a polished rock  
A broken heart that the world forgot**  
  
**Through the wind and the rain  
She stands hard as a stone  
In a world that she can't rise above  
But her dreams give her wings  
And she flies to a place where she's loved  
Concrete angel**

Author's note: This is pure fiction and I am not making any money.  The song used is by Martina McBride.  Please review… I might continue this using everyone else's point of view about how this if affecting them.  Thanks for reading!


	2. Memories

Friday 7PM

Harm was sitting on his couch, arms resting on his knees, nursing a beer.  It had been three days since Mac's funeral, five horrible days of replaying her last breath while he cradled her in his arms.

**Don't grieve for me, for now I'm free**

**I'm following the path God laid for me**

**I took his hand when I heard him call**

**I turned my back and left it all**

_Flashback… Monday __1AM___

            Dripping wet from the rain, Harm raised his hand and knocked softly on the door.  As he did so, the door slowly opened, revealing Mac's apartment torn to pieces.  Her glass coffee table lay in shattered beads all over the hardwood floor of the living room.  The brand new TV was gone as was the DVD player and her stereo.  He turned and saw the antique end table she kept by the door for their keys and mail broken and resting by the overturned couch.  He walked around, careful not to touch anything, his temper slowly rising.  Her bedroom was in worse shape but he dared not to look.  Memories came to him and he returned to the living room.  He was about to call Mac on her cell phone when he heard a soft moaning coming from by the windows.  Cautiously he walked over and saw her lying in her own blood, her lip already swelling and her eyes starting to bruise.  Forgetting about the glass on the floor he knelt down, brushing her hair out of her eyes.

            "Sarah?  Sarah?  Can you hear me?"

            She turned her head slowly and forced her eyes open.  "Harm?  Is that you?"

            Tears burned his eyes.  "It's me.  Are you okay?  Do you need me to call an ambulance?"  His eyes averted the blood that was pooling underneath her head.

            "No.  Just hold me…" she tried to take a deep breath and ended up coughing up blood instead.  "…not gonna make it…love you…so…much…Harm…"

            "You're not going to die.  Understand me?!?  You'll be fine."

            She gasped for air.  "Can't…breathe…hurts…"

            He didn't move, fearing he would cause her more pain.  Her eyes fluttered closed and she lapsed into unconscious.  Noticing the change in her, Harm was calling the police on his cell phone; relaying her address and the state of the apartment to the operator.  He hung up and started to wake Mac up.

            "Mac, wake up.  Open you eyes.  Please…"

            "So cold…cold…" she said, her eyes still closed.  Harm slowly and carefully moved to cover her with his uniform cover.  

            "Mac, please wake up…" he pleaded.

            "…love…you…flyboy…" and he heard her last breath.

            "Mac?  Mac!  Oh no…nonononononononono….." he pulled her body to him, not caring that her blood was staining his uniform.  He held her limp body close to him, silent tears falling down his cheeks.  "Please don't leave me…please…I can't survive without you…"

**If my parting has left a void**

**Then fill it with remembered joy**

**A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss**

**Ah yes, these things, I too, will miss**

Friday 10 PM

            Harm had not moved; he was still staring into space, bits and pieces of Mac floating in and out of his mind.  He couldn't take the solace of his apartment anymore.  Taking his car key, he left to go to the one place where he can think.

_Flashback…Mac's funeral…Wednesday_

Harm remained expressionless for most of the day.  He didn't flinch when the 21-gun salute started or when the missing man formation flew overhead.  He didn't cry when Harriet said her eulogy.  Didn't speak, just nodded and shook hands at the church.  He stood proud at the graveyard, his mom, Frank and Sergi standing behind him.  The JAG staff next to him, Mac's Uncle Matt (and his guard) at the end.  When the Admiral and he had folded her flag, he did it proudly.  But when Uncle Matt told Harm to take the flag, his stone face faded.  

            "She would have wanted you to have this.  But remember one thing:  Mac would never have wanted you to sit idly by and wait for death.  She would want you to live…don't forget her but don't over-mourn her…" he trailed off and the guard took him away to a waiting van that would drive back to Leavenworth.

            Harm didn't speak.

**Be not burdened with times of sorrow**

**I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow**

**My life's been full, I savored much**

**Good friends, good times, a loved one's touch**

Friday 10:15 PM

            Harm parked his car and walked to Mac's gravesite.  Craving the silence and solace the cemetery provided, he was surprised to find someone had beat him to his now favorite spot.  

            "Webb?  I though you were in Afghanistan with Gunny…"

            "I was able to sneak away for a few days.  Listen Harm, I'm sorry.  I know you are sick of the sympathy and all that but I had to say it.  I know it hurts.  It hurts so much you want to die but think about this: Mac is free.  When my dad died someone told me that.  Though I didn't believe it at the time, I do now.  I have one more thing to say before I go - - When someone dies a cloud turns into an angel and flies up to tell God to plant another flower in the Earth.  A bird gives the message back to the world and sings a silent prayer to make the rain cry.  People disappear but they never really go away.  Their spirit helps to put the sun to bed, wake up the grass and spin the Earth in dizzying circles.  Sometimes you can see them dancing in the clouds during the daytime when they are supposed to be sleeping.  They paint the rainbows and also the sunsets, and make the waves splash and tug at the tides.  They toss shooting stars and listen to wishes and... When they sing wind songs they whisper to us "don't miss me too much, you see, the view up here is great and I'm doing just fine."  Take care Rabb," he said then turned around and disappeared into the night.

**Perhaps my time seemed all too brief**

**Don't lengthen it now with undue grief**

**Lift your head up and share with me**

**God wanted me now, he set me free.**

Author's note:  While I am not overly religious, I think this chapter makes it seem so.  I apologize if this offends anyone – it wasn't intentional.  Please review and thanks for reading!


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